Amazonys – Wii Games

To: Luke
From: Owen
Re: 9 Basterds

This weekend I thought I’d be writing about how I’d decided to re-grow my General Zod beard. Then Dad went bicycling and had a close encounter of the handlebar kind.

Long story short, he went cycling with Mom on her birthday Wednesday and flipped ass-over-teakettle, taking a handgrip to the gut. Because he got stuck right on the scar where he’d gotten an appendectomy 41 years ago – incidentally, an operation for which Mom drove him to the hospital, before they were even married – this created a very bad hernia, requiring emergency surgery.

I called Dad in his hospital room Friday morning. “You think you feel like shit,” I said, “Teddy Kennedy just woke up with the worst hangover ever.”

“You’re lucky that wasn’t funny,” Dad said. When your abdominal wall’s been compromised, it doesn’t take much to make you laugh until you cry. “Imagine getting kicked square in the balls,” he said. “Now imagine your balls are your stomach.”

(Note to commenter ZenGaijin: Explaining over IM your “Fupa PS3″ comment, and other synonyms, caused Dad intense pain this afternoon. “God damn you,” he told me. “I had to put the computer down when I broke out in a sweat from the pain from laughing.”)

Dad told me about hearing all the Code Blue calls coming from the ICU, which were canceled seconds later. And not because the patient suddenly got better. “They got the do-not-resuscitate wristbands on,” he said, “so I checked mine to make sure, since I was out of it when your mother admitted me here.”

The nurse popped in and Dad said he had to go. “She’s listening to the gurgling in my abdomen through a stethoscope,” he said. “I so want the Alien to burst out.”

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Mario Kart: The Movie’s under production – or so we’re led to believe by the trailer you saw earlier this week and now, mister bigshot star flipping out at the lighting guy.

Video: Mario Freaks Out On the Mario Kart: The Movie Set [Gay Gamer]

In reconfiguring their portable, Sony paid attention. Pandora’s Battery made modding the PSP firmware, and thus software piracy, very easy. SCEA’s John Koller said the PSPgo’s battery was made internal-only for just that reason.

“You won’t be able to rip your games and play them on the [PSPgo] system, the firmware precludes that,” Koller told PlayStation Insider. “There’s no external battery, so there’s a number of protections put into place on the system.”

The drawback? When that battery starts to go, you can’t swap it yourself. Back it goes to Sony for replacement, at a fee if it’s out of warranty.

Why You Can’t Remove the Battery from the PSPgo [PlayStation Insider]

Australia’s Classification Board has listed a new rating for Sonic Adventure DX: Director’s Cut, suggesting that the GameCube game might be ported to current systems.

The rating says “multiplatform,” which further vagues up whatever Sega’s plans are here. That Gaming Site, which saw the listing earlier today, figures it could be a new control scheme on the Wii, an XBLA release, or part of some new compilation.

Sonic Adventure DX debuted on the Dreamcast in 1998; the Director’s Cut was the version brought to GameCube and PC in 2003.

Sonic Adventure DX to be Remade Again? [That Gaming Site]

Talking to Randy Hahn for yesterday’s column about announcing NHL 2K10, I tested how deep his vocabulary runs in the game. I threw out a dozen hockey terms – some basic, others esoteric – and asked Hahn if he’d said them.

The scorecard? Only three didn’t make it, and I half expected that two of them wouldn’t anyway.

Here’s the lingo, and Hahn’s response. If you’re not certain of their slang definitions, check out this page.

One-timer: “Of course.”
Face Wash: “Yes, that’s in there.”
Kick-save: “And a beauty.”
Burnt biscuit: “I believe so, yes.”
Playoff beard: “Yes.”
Sin Bin: “Yes.”
Waffle: “Yes.”
Zamboni: “Of course. It’s essential.”
Stoned: “Well, if you mean stopped a shot on goal, yes.”
Garbage Goal: “No, we didn’t do that. It’s a little too negative.”
Gong Show: “No. If we used that, then we’d need to get licensing from Chuck Barris, and he’s dead. But I have said it on air before.” [Actually, Barris is not dead, but he is a lung cancer survivor.]
Puck Bunny: “No. But I’ve met them.”